Hero Worship
by Menkui
Summary: Richie becomes obsessed with buying Static merchandise. VR slash in later chapters.


Hero Worship

_Chapter 1_

It started with an action figure. It was approximately 12" tall, was surprisingly close to Static's features, and if you pressed the round black button that protruded from its back its eyes lit up a bright purple. Virgil was floored by the little toy and bought as many of them his allowance would permit, which was only two, but he vowed to the cashier and the surrounding customers that he would return the following week to purchase two more.

Not wanting to feed Virgil's already gargantuan ego, Richie acted blasé. At the Hawkins house he chilled on Virgil's bed while reading the latest issue of Plant Man and listened to his friend banter about the toy. Occasionally, when Virgil wasn't looking, Richie glanced over at the action figure and then casually turned back to the comic, continuing with the calm façade.

"What's with you, man?" Virgil questioned. He was blown away by the fact that Richie, who happened to be more into the whole super hero gig than himself, was not showing any excitement.

"Nothing, nothing at all." He crossed one leg over the other and yawned.

Virgil wasn't buying it. He took a seat beside his friend and waved the Static toy in his face. "Richie, I know you want me, just reach out and take me and I'm yours."

The blond pushed the toy from his face and grimaced. "Ew, okay, just ew. What you said is wrong on so many levels."

"Hey, I meant that in a different way, you're the one with your mind in the gutter." Richie rolled his eyes. "You know, I think I've figured out what's bothering you, bro."

"Nothing is bothering me, V."

"Nuh-uh-uh, I know you're upset because there isn't a Gear action figure."

Huh? What? Where did he get that from? Okay, so he tripped during the taping of that t.v. show when he got little to no screen time and that stupid producer kept calling him a "sidekick", but he had gotten over that. Just because of one isolated incident where he got jealous didn't mean that he was going to spaz every time Static got more attention than he did. "V, man, please, lets not go there."

"No, listen, it's okay." Virgil bent over and Richie peeked over the comic to catch a glimpse of what his friend was doing. "I knew that this would happen someday, so I prepared in advance." He popped back up and grinned deviously before showing off what he had retrieved from under the bed.

Richie blinked. "What the hell?"

In his left hand Virgil held a barbie that was dressed in a tight neon green business suit and wore a tacky forest green baseball helmet atop its head. "Look, it's Gear!" Virgil chirped. His right hand that still held the Static figure was moved next to the barbie. "Hey, Gear what's going down," he said in a slightly lowered voice. "Oh Static" he raised his voice to a high pitch squeal and Richie's brow furrowed, "I have no idea where backpack is and I stored all my makeup in it!"

A pillow was swung and it collided with Virgil. "Ow."

"First of all," Richie set the comic down as he glared hard at a certain dreadlock boy, "that did not hurt, so you screaming 'ow' was so unnecessary. Second," he snatched the barbie out of Virgil's hand, "I am not a female and my voice is lower than yours and this helmet clashes with the outfit."

A husky laugh filled the room as Virgil threw himself down on the bed. Richie quickly pulled his legs inward, barely missed being squashed between Virgil and the bed. As Virgil rolled with laughter, Richie took one last quick glance at the Static action figure before coming to a decision. He gets up from his seat goes over to the chair his bookbag rested in, picked it up and made his way toward the door.

"Wait, where are you going?" Virgil scampered to his feet. "You're not angry about that? It was a joke!"

A hand made its way through rough blond locks. Yeah, he wasn't angry, making cracks and throwing dozens was something the two boys usually did. "I just remembered that I had this thing I had to do at home."

"What thing?"

"You know, that thing I told you about yesterday."

"You told me about no such thing. If there was a thing I would remember the thing because I'm good at remembering things when things need to be remembered."

Richie opened the door. "It doesn't matter if _you_ remember it or not. What matters is that I remember."

"You know, you've been acting really weird since we left the store."

"Yeah, well, um…I've gotta go."

Ignoring Virgil, Richie made his way down the stairs and out the front door.

He wanted one. No, not just one, but five, or six, seven if he had enough cash. He made a mad dash back to the little corner convenience store, every so often glancing over his shoulder to make sure Virgil hadn't followed him to question him about his brash behavior. He didn't know how to explain to Virgil that he was insanely happy about the Static toy. What he had wanted to do when he first laid eyes on the action figure was explode with excitement, hop up and down like a kangaroo doped up on LCD and squeal like the insane fanboy he was. But he knew that if he left that store with more Static figures than Virgil than he would have to answer some questions that he really didn't know how to reply to.

He ended up purchasing four figures. Two to keep in storage, never to be touched, one to put on display, and one to play with. That night as he lay awake in bed, thoughts tumbled around in his brain like a cycle of clothes in a dryer. He pondered why he got a rush from making such a purchase, especially since they were just toys and he got to hang with the real deal on a daily basis. But there was something about owning his own Static that made his insides melt and made his inner self cry "squeeeee". He couldn't understand it and he wasn't sure if it was normal, but he thought it best to keep this incident to himself until he figured out why he felt the way he did.

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"Underwear, Rich."

Richie looked across to Virgil who sat opposite him at the lunch table and lowered the fork that was en route to his mouth.

"Did I miss something?"

"Dude, they've made Static underwear. Don't you think that's going a little too far?"

In the past two months there had been a surge of Static related merchandise released. From posters, to mugs, key-chains, caps, t-shirts, bobble heads and tins. What Virgil didn't know is that Richie had become an avid collector of all things Static, sometimes buying 3 or 4 of each item. His mom had asked him about what she called his "obsession" and Richie completely dodged her question. He wasn't obsessed; he was just supporting Static, not only that, but if it wasn't for people like him who impulsively spent their money the economy would be ruined. So not only was he supporting Static, he was supporting the economy, which in a round about way was like saving the world!

"Oh, come on, Virg, you're over reacting."

Virgil popped a fry into his mouth and handed his salad to Richie who had to nag him about eating his veggies. "It's just weird to think about guys having my face on their butts." Both he and Richie shivered simultaneously but the boy in the hoody shook for quite a different reason from his friend. He had to get his hands on a pair of that underwear.

"Yo, I'm gonna go home again today to do more of that thing."

The thing! Whatever the hell the thing was Richie had been using it as an excuse not to hang with Virgil on and off for the past two months. Suddenly Virgil was hit with an epiphany. "You have a girlfriend, don't you?"

"Huh?"

"And you don't want me to meet her because she's incredibly ugly and you're embarrassed to be seen with her." Virgil reached over the table and placed a hand on Richie's shoulder. "Hey, beautiful or ugly, she's your girlfriend so she's my friend too."

Richie swatted the hand off his shoulder. "Would you shut-up. I don't have a girlfriend and if I did she would be incredibly hot, like Static." His eyes grew wide. _Oh damn._

"What?"

"Huh?"

"You said--"

"I know what I said!"

"Then you know what I heard."

"Of course I know what you heard because I said it so therefore I heard it also, but what you think you heard is different from what was really said."

"Wh-what the, excuse me, but huh?"

"Lets just drop it."

If Richie was trying to confuse Virgil he had succeeded. He looked down at his fries went to pick one up but decided against it. He wasn't very hungry anyway. His eyes traveled to Richie who seemed to be very much engrossed with his salad. And for the second time that day something clicked with Virgil.

"Oh, when you said 'hot like static' you were talking about static electricity!"

Richie tore his eyes off of his lunch and locked them with the boy across from him. Virgil wasn't the only one having realizations that day. But what he couldn't understand is why he hadn't figured it out until just that moment. Ever since Static came to be, Richie's mind had been flooded with thoughts of him, with the need of having to be with him, to help him, to see him.

He was attracted to Static.

"Yeah, I can't believe you would take that any other way, V."

But not Virgil.

He was so majorly screwed up.


End file.
